There is a good chance that you were once attracted to someone with whom you did not stand a chance. Perhaps you were attracted to your boss, who was happily married too, or you spontaneously got butterflies in your stomach when you saw your best friend’s love. Is it possible to stop feeling in such a situation?
You can choose how much attention you give to the person you long for, but you cannot turn off your natural feelings. Do you have a hard time? The, unfortunately, there is no on-and-off switch for the feelings that run through your body. But luckily there are ways you can reduce them.
For example: after a relationship breaks you still feel enormously attracted to your ex and then it can be difficult to figure out why it just didn’t work. “You’re going to hide the past and see memories through pink glasses”. The concept whereby we disguise the past will ensure that your relationships are not viewed clearly.
Memories are becoming more and more positive. Try to keep a cool head and make a list of pros and cons so that you can look back and see that the person might not have been perfect for you. Will all your feelings go away immediately? Maybe not, but there is a good chance that you will not make hasty decisions and let your feelings run wild.
If the person you are longing for already has a relationship, you need to think rationally. The strong sexual attraction is often an idea that you get because something is unknown. When you feel attracted to someone you don’t know well, then your brain fills in the unknown parts to create the ideal partner: you assume they are good in bed, sweet, funny, charming, etc. because you hope so. But nobody is perfect and you must keep in mind that your brain is often fooling you and that reality is often less beautiful.
It may feel as though enormous attraction cannot be controlled, whether or not you take action is in your power. We’ve all experienced that we’re so attracted to someone that we don’t know what to do. But just as you do not eat a full chocolate cake every day, you can also adjust this to your taste.
If you make love with your girlfriend’s partner, you hurt her feelings and you might lose your girlfriend. Are you diving in bed with your boss? Then you might risk your career and their family. Keep the negative consequences in mind, if they don’t outweigh the positive ones, then you might not do anything with your feelings.