Summer 2018 seemed to be the season of fast romances. After just a month of dating, Justin Bieber and Hailey Baldwin became engaged. Nick Jonas also sat on one knee for Priyanka Chopra after only two months, and then there is Ariana Grande and Pete Davidson. Almost as fast as they were engaged, the lovebirds put a point behind their relationship. No big surprise, some relationship experts now claim.
“It was all too much and too fast”, an anonymous source describes the breakage of Ariana and Pete in the American magazine PEOPLE. And Emily deAyala, a relationship therapist and founder of the relationship practice ‘Revive Therapy and Healing’, largely agrees.
“The first 18 months of a relationship, also called the ‘honeymoon phase’, can feel very intense,” DeAyala explains to Health. “You’re being stunned, as it were, by the rush of hormones and neurotransmitters that rage through your body.”
The bigger the ups, the bigger the downs
But after the honeymoon, those love hormones are again at a lower level, and then the first problems crop up. That is not always something to worry about, emphasizes the relationship expert. Often these are fussy things. For example, you used to think that the way you used to chew his food was pretty cute, but now all that crap takes the blood from under your nails.
In some cases, it is about major discussion points. If couples do not agree, a break is often the only solution. And such a sudden turnaround can come very hard especially in the case of crazy people. “When suddenly such intensely happy feelings come to an end, chances are that the person feels bad, sad and hurt,” says Rachel Needle, psychologist and sex therapist.
They can even be so deep in the pit that it becomes more difficult to step into a new relationship, purely for fear of experiencing such a rollercoaster of emotions again. According to Needle, they find it difficult to follow their feelings and gut feeling, which also gives their self-confidence a dent.
The only solution? “Try to take your lesson so that you do not repeat this mistake with your next relationship,” deAyala advises. The honeymoon will always be an exciting, exciting period, but try to really get to know your partner instead of assuming that you are already two hands on one belly. “Make time for yourself and do not get too carried away. It is tempting to outline the rest of your future together, but you better wait a bit longer.”